The college football team gathered around the strength and conditioning coach for additional instruction. They looked to be doing a team-building activity just as I’d watched them do on the gym court during my previous treadmill run.
“I’d be intimidated,” I thought, as I watched her—the strength coach—look up at them and explain the next phase of the workout.
Wait a minute.
I wouldn’t have been intimidated in my “previous life.” By this I mean my life before I was treated as less-than by the church for being a woman. The worldview was there all my life, but it didn’t rise up and stab me in the spirit until age 33—eight years ago.
I have participated in various forms of strength training since I was 14. With a bachelor’s degree in Exercise Science and a (previous) ACE certification I have trained many male clients as a personal trainer with no problem. It was a true joy to aid growth in strength and confidence!
At age 33 church leadership treated me as a child of my husband. They didn’t view it that way—their worldview trained them that this was loving me.
One of them even knew better, at least at first (this was years-long), but that’s a different story.
Now I know better as well, grounded firmly in Scripture and the character of God—not just in the steady witness of God to my spirit.
Healing meant a multi-year process which included adding a minor in Biblical and Theological Studies and a masters degree from seminary. It involved seeing women respected as leaders in the church. It took being invited to live out who I am and the respect afforded me by leaders in conversation, demeanor, and opportunities.
— I actually struggle to know how to interact when there is an underlying power hierarchy based in gender. If a relationship is not founded in mutual humility in Christ being genuine is a challenge for me. —
But back to the strength coach.
I am not going to ask her if she’s intimidated. I don’t want to put that seed in her mind. You see, I grew up being respected, and she likely has too. We’ve talked before about her past lifting experience.
This Christian college she works at has been a place of growth and healing for me. I know she’s fully valued for who she is and what she has to offer.
Anything else would face institutional correction.
If only our churches could be the same!
Christian and Missionary Alliance, I implore you to see that policy that treats women as under—rather than fully co-equal with—men does not foster respect. Rather, it is a very modern Evangelical (soft-complementarian) misunderstanding that
degrades the image of God.
Read that again. Own it. Contact me if you’d like to discuss. I write out of a passion God has lit in my being for greater wholeness—Shalom—in C&MA churches. I write out of care for the women under your governance. I write because I know God has more for the men in the C&MA, too.*
Coffee with Kristin 